Random things

Events and thoughts from the day, related only in that they're about TV. (I guess my "Oy" post kicked that off.)

I deleted two website icons from my Firefox toolbar today: the one for local TV listings, and the one for the Internet Movie Database (IMDb). I used to keep both sites open at all times, the former to see what programs were coming up, and the latter to look up TV shows, movies, and actors (at the same time I was watching the TV, of course). I was quite the IMDb junkie. You know those character actors that you see and say, "Oh, what's her name, I've seen her before, she played that character on ... what was that show we saw last week?" Chances are I can tell you the actress's name and the names of both the show you saw last week and the one you just watched. And I've submitted hundreds of corrections to IMDb's lists of cast members and guest stars.

I still have those two sites in my Bookmarks menu, so I can get them if I want ... but they're no longer right in my face, on my fastest-access-possible toolbar. A small thing, I guess, but it feels like the first concrete step I've taken to back away from everything I've set up to give me instant access to the TV and all of its companion addictions.

While I was sitting in my living room this afternoon, I wondered what time it was and glanced at one of my VCRs, which displays the time when it's turned off. I couldn't read the time, but the panel was getting some sun glare, so I moved a bit to one side. Still couldn't read the time, so I walked right up to the VCR. And realized it wasn't showing the time; the power was off. I looked behind the table that the TV, VCRs, and DVD player are on, and saw that the master switch on the power strip was turned off. One of my cats must have stepped on it. The whole setup has been sitting there, powered off, and it could have happened anytime in the past 15 days. I think that's a sign of progress.

Somehow today I got to remembering my experience, just after I finished college, of moving from my dorm into my first apartment. And I realized that my TV abstinence feels much the same as what I felt then. What I hadn't expected in that transition was the shock of abruptly being so isolated. When I lived in the dorm, finding company wasn't an issue -- all I had to do was walk out my door. There would be people playing cards, ping pong, four square, or frisbee, watching TV in the lounge, playing music, or sitting and reading. At nearly any hour of the day or night, someone who I knew would be awake, studying, or doing laundry if nothing else. The farthest I ever had to go to find a friend was the 10-minute walk to the computer lab, where someone was guaranteed to be pulling an all-nighter. It was wonderful.

Then, six weeks after graduation, I was working at my first post-college job, living in my own apartment -- alone -- and my college friends had all scattered to the winds and moved on with their own lives. I loved my work and my independence, but for the first time in my life, I had no family or friends within shouting distance. It was an awful shock. For the first time, I had to make the effort to find places to go, meet new people, make new friends, and keep up with them. It took me about two years to fully get used to this new reality.

My new TV abstinence feels very much like those post-college days. TV isn't company, but it felt like company. It's been my major substitute for company for years. And now I don't have it anymore ... by choice, yes, but knowing that only helps a little. My new social vacuum is much like my earlier one: I'm lonely, I want to find new friends, and it's going to take me some time to figure out how to do that.